sometimes (most times) it's easy to forget how much you are loved

the years i lived

in a cave
my mother's never come to visit
not once in the ten years since we shared rooms and slippers
and so many movies

she's never seen me in the streets of chicago or new york;
the state we live in barely holds us together
it's liable to burst at the seams- pennsylvania

and what can i say for myself
i ask the clouds

am i really so small
the mountains reply


we all turn to dust sometime

who needs sleep when there's life to live?!

there is nothing so delicate as a heart
3 am phone calls. there's crying and oh there is consolation
and though my shoulders are so far from you--
somehow comfort.
and on yr birthday you are so drunk that you say so.
and still we are both so thankful for eachother.

--------------

clouds move
pizza gets eaten
theory's discussed

--------------------------------------


and do you remember that time we went to brooklyn to eat ice cream w/ matt & kim
when there was a magic not states btwn us
and you were so excited - ice cream spilled out of yr mouth as you talked
yrr hands moving and everyone was worried (you could tell by their eyes)
that you'd drop it and you didn't

-------------

but then neither one of us did.
"i didn't drop the soap but yr hands are around my throat" the lyrics of my youth;
today i began more formally my project of 2k9; in such a little way an explanation
of scars
----

oh alejandro; las calles son largas:
souviens-tu?
------------------

dear mystery person this is from/for/to you:

writing/riding home in the rain
i want to meet you in the street and when we hug
i’d smell yr hair either r&b would be playing
or you’d tell me that coco rosie is yr favourite band
and then we would watch a movie about problems we already know
about but pretend to not have like the way no one can say yr name
right or how sometimes there’re worms in apples and you’d look over
and you’ll be crying b/c the kitten is playing w/ the string and i’ll look over
and i’ll be laughing at how somehow we’re both laughing and stalin was defeated
and even though we aren’t our mothers– at least now we know where they were
coming from
-october 2005:

years ago and for so long the same feelings
and today-- i ride my bike anywhere to see a friend/ i watch the clouds/
and i can always put on r&b; lone wolf vs. gentle giant:
january 2009: there are kittens shooting rainbow lazerbeams out of their eyes.
-----

okay, change the channel;
flip the record.
it's not about a new year.
it's about a new today.
(burn the sage)

i miss the artic summers

listening to music on the internet
in the morning/ knowing there's so much to do
but it's pink pyjamas but it's today for today but it's at least this is different

it's not quiet in the house
(not at all)
and i shy away from noisemakers
black hole sun my way into today

last night no bad dreams
but lately it's so rare
to not... where did this anxiety come back from
why was clint eastwood stalking me?
when did ll cool j become a stealth psycho cult killer.
these are my dreams. the suspense of death.
"fear is the mind killer."


i miss the champagne daze of summertime:
me
a bike
a book
champagne toasts to getting through work to each sunset to smiles on the street
when i lived w/ a rooftop view of the skyline
the days i rode each day into the sunset
when i lone wolfed all the way to team ghost before it ghosted

and it's another year and the plans laid out are so simple
here's to seeing if the past could ever catch up w/ the present

hearts abound

totalmente

this is what i used to look like world. my favourite shirt. and a pixure by some of my favourite people. is it that we lose track of time together or that we lose track of ourselves. in the evolution of inevitability tonight i have to say you look beautiful and the only thing nostalgic is the technology we've neglected

who needs snow in december?

there's a top chef marathon/ and that movie happy endings
this is just like last holiday season somehow
but i'm here in philadelphia
something feels normal (and this is something that amazes me:
the sun still sets)

before you left do you remember the purple in the sky
more than lamentations and letdowns

can we say we'll never start over philadelphia
and we say we'll just remember eachother for who we are



----------------aliens in america translating egypt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rENoOBFrOlw


let's just pretend that it never really happened

i forget about louis vuitton as i sleep;

now i have a VL stamped on my chest

i forgot i made a space here for myself;
so i'll you a secret, world if yrr listening, this right here
is for you and for me. it's us and no one, not the economic crisis, sinking california,
internet viruses, nor the international luddite society can stop us.

i woke up today thinking about clean spaces and how we navigate space as people with
bodies of experiences; della watson and jackie gimble; surprise ambushes; and all the brave men i know like amelia earhart and indiana jones or miranda july or roberto winstead. i woke up and i'm wondering where my grandma is or if i can ever really remember what it was like to have her around.

i woke up today and my heart didn't hurt from love loss (thanks jeanette for giving me a measuring stick)

i woke up w/ adventure on the brain.

i mean, i guess the great thing is: i woke up

p.s. what ever happened to jamie stewart?

in the wintertime: these are the things i think about at work

"and how do we get ourselves into these situations/ surveying the land"
btwn yr body and mine

"[something about the tenderness of gloves; closed communication; and truncation; safe romance/romanticles: we were almost tender]"

"couldn't we just be feathers. we'd work so well together"

cookies
cookies
cookies
and how spacious pennsylvania really is